plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
