if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
