Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
