So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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