She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize