I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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