who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
