the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
