is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
there is puke in my bra ... again
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