now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
