I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
