this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
