Reggie can tackle my bush.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize