you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
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It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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