I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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