I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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