if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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