she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
