so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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