We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
