Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize