i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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