it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
