Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
