you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
