eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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