Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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