a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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