Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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