What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
