Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
