yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
