PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
