what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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