Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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