if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize