Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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