If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
FUCK WHALES
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
