my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
