I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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