i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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