I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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