It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
