South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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