she looked like the bat from fern gully.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
