"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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