im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
