her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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