i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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