I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
