I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
