just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
