I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
